You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
