Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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