He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
