Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
