is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
