Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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