I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
