I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize