I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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