She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You ate ashes out of my bong
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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