why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
