So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
