"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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