i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
