he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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