I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
