Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize