I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
All the doctor said was why
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
