I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
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Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
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He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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