I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
