He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
