Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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