just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He has the fingertips of a God
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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