East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
