Moan for me like Helen Keller
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
