How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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