No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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