we're blogging at a bar
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
time to smoke my breakfast
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
