If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
