Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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