see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
