im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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