Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.