So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me