My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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