just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?