I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions