we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
