Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
