I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
