and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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