How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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