Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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