I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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