he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
