Having a random hookup so left but love u
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize