how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
