I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
