Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have fence marks all over my body
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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