im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
