So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
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