Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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