thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
