My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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