You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
honey bunches of taint.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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