I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
