i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
