i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize