I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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