thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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