only if we run a train.
done.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
