i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
