i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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