I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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