Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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